i went out of my way to grab coffee downtown at Daily Dose this morning just to walk around and say goodbye to this city. and i spent the afternoon with my sister-in-law saying goodbye to hollywood.

los angeles has been a very magical place for me. i learned so much about myself in one week out here and i’m thankful for every moment. things like how much i like having a sister, remembering that i have great brothers, that love doesn’t have to be such a scary thing, that the west coast is an enchanting place for me, that my life needs to be a little more risky.

and because i’m list maker i came up with a few things while i was here and will probably be adding to these lists in the near future.

things i would do if i lived in LA:
spend the weekends adventuring outside of LA.
go to an audition of some sort, just for fun.
get in water, often.
own a motorcycle.
not be in the entertainment industry.
explore abandoned buildings.

things i’m planning for when i get back to orlando:
buying a vespa (girl’s gotta start somewhere).
taking more long bike trips.
and weekend adventures exploring my state.
dance a lot more.
learn harmonica.
camping! tree house hostel.
learn to build something and how tools work.
plant the best garden thus far.
take an acting class.
write more poems and share them. get a poetry night at credo.
read more of the classics.
learn to use a sewing machine.

i’ve spent the evening packing and watching movies. (my brother and his wife have a pretty extensive movie collection.) 500 Days of Summer – because it’s about relationship and there are more scenes than i remembered at Angels Knoll. Neverending Story – i’ve been wanting to renew my memory of this movie for some time now. i forgot how cheesy parts of this movie are. and how in depth other parts are. these are probably my favorite lines for the evening.

gmork: “because people have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams. so the Nothing grows stronger.”
atreyu: “but what is the Nothing?”
gmork: “it’s the emptiness that’s left. it is like a despair, destroying this world…because people who have no hopes are easy to control. and whoever has the control has the power.”

which brings me back to the idea of risk. and my dreams and hopes and goals for the next year. in two months i turn 27 – the year when you can do whatever you want. and i plan to do just that. to go for the things i’ve been fearful about. to try more things that make me look stupid. i remember my friend Bonnie recently saying that she danced her way through her 20’s. sounds like a dream. and like i should be doing a lot more dancing. Whit and i talked the other day about going for things that we in the past had felt silly trying. i have a friend in Orlando that always astounds me by the way he goes for things – he seems to have no concept of the idea that he might be bad at them. i’m bad at a lot of things, and i think i’ve always just tried the things i’m good at so as to avoid failure. but there’s so much more i want to try! so i’m going to go for it. it’ll probably be messy, but all the people who think they have it all together are usually wrong anyway.

and you only live/die once.

other notable things about los angeles:
the biggest drawback to the city is that you cannot see the stars!
everyone who thinks the weather in orlando is great should experience warm days and cool nights.

Truly Living Well in Atlanta. best community garden i’ve yet seen. excited to be headed toward this place.

tomorrow i head to atlanta. to ginna kiddy and snake nation. to my beloved Southern culture that always makes me feel home. hopefully to a bicycle. and to many more adventures and some beautiful friends that i have not seen in too long.

as ad would say: upward and onward.

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